Post-Abuse Survival

Surviving Narcissistic Abuse leaves scars others don’t see.

Scars may leave a mark, but they also build strength.

“It was not until after I discovered that ‘narcissist’ meant that I realised just how many of them there are, and how many victims they create. Whatever I can do to help others falling into the traps I was caught in, I will do. It will not change what I went through, but at least it may serve to help others to avoid them experiencing what I did.”

Too often we hear people saying “It’s their own stupidity that they fell into the trap”, or “Why didn’t they just walk away?”. 

Many people endure narcissistic relationships for being encouraged to believe exactly these types of reasons. Maybe it’s all in their imagination, and it’s not as bad as it really is.

Personally, I told several people what was happening. Some relayed it onto the other person, only for it to be used as a weapon that “No-one believes you”, or being treated with disbelief that the abuser couldn’t really be all that bad, as they seemed fine to them.

Those that did begin to see the truth began to distance themselves becauseof fear of being drawn into the trap of someone as vindictive.

In later years, even social workers who I reached out to for help responded with “It that really had happened, that would have been terrible”, demonstrating that they were caught upnin the lies of the narcissist, against which I never stood a chance, costing me my children, or risking tearing them apart even further.

Survivors all have horror stories that make toes curl, and blood boil. The fact that it can go unpunished, even rewarded in broad daylight is a shocking revelation to everyone victimised by a narcissist, with no-one really appreciating it, until it happens to them.

The fact is that anyone can fall into the trap, as the narcissist often plays on the empathy of others to set their first trap.

There are many examples which show how people can be caught in traps. These are used for illustration, to show how easily a narcissist could use similar tactics to get into a position of oercive control over someone, wearing down their will-power to fight against what they know to be wrong.

Too often we hear people saying “It’s their own stupidity that they fell into the trap”, or “Why didn’t they just walk away?”. The fact is that the first form of abuse of a narcissist if that of trust, allowing them to get close, followed by emotional abuse allowing them to confuse, followed by physical & emotional abuse, in order to humiliate and create fear.
This is done by both men and women, with women threatening violence to men because they know the men won’t dare hit back, or because the women will have the charged with violence for daring to defend themselves.