Games – How a Narcissist sees the world, and Why it destroys lives
A narcissist’s one and only focus is always winning.
At all costs.
Whatever it takes.
There is no other focus. And it’s driven by fear of losing, and a mistaken self-belief of being a victim.
Sadly, too often, the narcissist believes they are losing. To them, any challenge, however justified, simply turns them into a a victim of anything not going there way.
Anything or anyone caught in the crossfire is merely collateral damage, for which they take no responsibility. This only fuels their need for vengeance even more.
Because of this blind lack of acceptance of their part in every battle they wager, they see themselves as the victim, and never the perpetrator.
The goal is always to win.
Any consession, even a compromise is seen as a loss, unless it can later be overturned, to become a win again.
And a narcissist hates losing, they will do anything so they don’t feel they lose. There’s no-one more damaging to anyone around them than a narcissist.
Children raised by narcissists tend to display narcissistic traits.
Children brought up with no boundaries feel injustice when boundaies are applied or enforced, somehow limiting their freedom.
For children left behind with the narcissist, they absorb the habits of the narcissist, often soaking into them, like water into a sponge, blind to the damage caused.
For children that do escape, breaking the cycle is not always easy. Years of continued exposure, learning justifications for engaging in narcissistic games becomes part of their identity. Whether for Self-defence or for getting their own way, these terrorist tactics are almost impossible to undo.
For adults that escape narcissistic relationships, the years of continued exposure, oppression, and control, creates ongoing self-doubt, and fear of confrontation. Sometimes, they learn how to hold off against the games of a narcissist, but all too often they don’t.
For those escaping narcissists in the workplace, each new job carries fear of being exposed to another workplace bully, able to force others through fear of their livelihood.
To a narcissist, life is like a conspiracy against them. Anyone that dares challenge them feels the wrath of a temper-tantrum, with often life destroying consequences, with almost no limits.
Narcissists play games, but often with high stakes, that others simply don’t want to match.
Livelihoods, children, savings, and more are put on the line, with deadly consequence in this game played to win with no rules.
Terrorist Tactics
Narcissists are Terrorists
“Do this, or the consequences are your fault.”
To anyone victimised by a narcissist, this is one of the most common statements ever.
The ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t‘ quandry is the perpetual root of the narcissist trap.
Without leverage, there is no trap. But with leverage and no care for any rules or damage caused, the stakes of the game can crate impossible decisions.
As anyone victimised by a narcissist knows, if the other person has leverage and they are not afraid to use it, the trap is set, and easily sprung.
Starting small, but gaining more & more, with the leverage gaining more aAnd so the games of a narcissist become an impossible trap to escape.
Escape is not a dream
Caught in the trap, you learn endurance.
But escape can be a reality. It may not be easy, but it’s certainly easier than the long term pain of remaining in the trap.
Escape starts with the first step
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